It's Sick The remake
by Greasy-Llama-chan
Summary: Narutos' father handed him over to Tsunade when he was just a little kid, but no one knew why. What happens years later, in a new school, when he wants Naruto back? Since when did Naruto have a sister? Wah! That tutor's pure evil! That doesn't really fit!


Fan Fiction- It's Sick- The remake!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto cast and what not

Warning- Language, beatings, (underage ) smoking, alcohol, sexual content of sorts ( with sasu/naru ), evilness, and OCCness that can kill...

Oh, and tell me if you guys like this new version better then the old one, or like, give constructive criticism and suggestions for future chapters and stuff like that OK? It would be very much appreciated!

ENJOY!

**CHAPTER 1- Welcome to Konoha!**

A blonde, largely busted woman sighed and rubbed her temples in frustration. Why did that man have to be so hard to deal with? He was really, such a pain in the ass, but there really wasn't anything she could do about it.

_The __**nerve **__of that bastard! I can't believe he would say something like that..._ She thought to herself, grumbling angrily, thinking back on the last thing he had said to her on the phone 3 days prior to then, and to think, she was **still** pissed about it!

_Flashback..._

_" I refuse!" She growled at the man, completely taken aback from the comment he'd just come up with. " I absolutely refuse!"_

_" Now now..." The man said from the other line. " That's not a very wise thing to say you know,"_

_" We had an agreement! You handed over parenthood of him to me, you can't possibly think that you can just come calling and expect him to come straight back to you with open arms!"_

_" Please, you haven't even let me speak to him,"_

_" I know damn straight what he would say!"_

_" __**Remember who let you take him, because I have enough power to take him away,"**_

_End Flashback..._

Oh, she was still steaming over that last comment. And the bastard had the audacity to hang up right after saying it! He wouldn't dare!

" Ano... Obaa-chan?" A curious voice asked from around the corner of the room. Innocent azure eyes peeked around the corner looking at her. " Are you OK? You've been pacing for like... 3 days... I'm starting to get a little worried you know... Did something happen?"

" Iie, not at all... I'm just thinking about something..." She paused, thinking better of herself then to lye to the boy, since that wouldn't go over very well. " Something that really really pissed me off! That's what! And the nerve of that bastard who said it! Damn him! I'll kill him when I get my hands on that stupid fat neck of his!" The woman growled, slamming her hand down on her desk.

" Ano...you uh..."

" I what?"

" You broke you desk... Again..." The blonde boy laughed from around the corner. Hell, he always had found her temper tantrums ever so amusing, after all, she always broke something, and yeah, it was that funny.

The woman gaped like a fish and spared herself a glance down at her desk. And alas, it was, indeed, very very broken. Sighing, she lifted her fist to examine and damage that she might of done and glared daggers at the innocently laughing boy at her door.

" Ah ha... Another desk in only 2 days! Well, night, Obaa-chan!" He gave one last laugh before retreating to his room.

" Good night..." The woman paused. " O..baa..chan?! Why you little-! Naruto... brat!"

_**( the next day!)**_

_Beep, beep, beep..._

" Hmmmn..." A blonde teen groaned at the sounds of his annoying alarm clock. " Shu-up... leamme alone..." He grumbled.

_Beep, beep, beep..._

" God damn you persistant piece of machinery!" He swore, hitting the clock, ending it's ennoying tone. Satisfied with himself from abusing the poor clock, he pushed himself up into a sitting position as to reach for the blinds and open them. Big mistake. The sun was really bright at 7 in the morning, that, and his room **was** really dark. " Ow, stupid sunlight... why do you hate me so?"

Ignoring the quickly fading pain in his eyes, he looked out of the window, glad to see that it was a nice day out. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, not a cloud for miles around. That **still** didn't shake the feeling that there was a small, evil little rain cloud floating peacefully above the poor blonde's head. And that little rain cloud was always there, especially on the first day of school. Throwing his arms in the air, he stretched. Oh, he was going to show that little rain cloud, he was going to have a good day, dammit, no matter **what** Karma had to say about it. Oh, Karma? Yeah, that's what he decided to name that little cloud above his head, since it only really got him when he did something bad. Spiteful little cloud.

" Oi! Naruto! You awake?" Tsunade called from the hallway, making sure to wake him up.

" Yeah! I'm up!" He called down to her, just to make sure she knew, other wise she'd screw with his shower water before he got in there.

Meet Uzumaki Naruto, a cheerful, hyperactive, 16 year old boy who was living alone with his ancient, almost decrepid ( in his opinion ), guardian Tsunade. He had only moved to this place, Konoha it was called, about a month and a half ago, and was enjoy the remains of his summer vacation to the fullest degree possible. Energetically, he bounded out of his bed and dive rolled for his school uniform, quickly scanning the floor for any enimies. Deeming it safe to continue, he made a quick dash for it, to the bathroom.

" Ahhh!" He ( masculinely ) screamed, as he fell flat on his face, just infront of his bathroom door. " Nooo!" He hollered again. " Obaa-chan! They're gonna eat me! Help me, I don't wanna die!"

" Clean your room..." the woman said from behind him, having heard him screaming, ( again, very masculinely ) and decided to check up on him.

" But I **can't**!" Naruto retorted, ripping his foot free of whatever evil behind had gotten hold of it. Apparantly, it was just last weeks' pajama pants, so there was no need for alarm. " You have **no idea** what that **thing** under my bed will **do** to me if I clean up in here!"

" Naruto, there's nothing under your bed-," she started, wadding over to the bed and lifting the side.

" Ah! Be **careful**! That thing eats human flesh!" Naruto yelled at his guardian, who was glaring something aweful at him right about now. Ok, so **maybe** the whole ' there's-something-that-eats-human-flesh-living-under-my-bed' thing **was** just a little joke, but sometimes, he could swear there was something **living** in the filth under there. After all, it ate his shoe! He never **did** get that shoe back.

" Naruto..."

" I'm kidding!" The blonde laughed with fake nervousness, ok, maybe not so fake, because just then, he could of bet money that he just saw eyes from under the hell bed. " Well... go away! I'm having a shower, so yeah," Laughing, he forced himself to his feet, dodging the living clothing items scattered on the floor, and stepped cautiously into the bathroom. He never did know when the bathmat would turn on him next. Tsunade just scoffed and walked out of the room.

Once he shut the bathroom door, Naruto sighed. He **really** did need to clean that room of his. Shaking his head, he dropped his uniform on the floor and turned on the tap in the shower. Letting the water run for a few minutes, he started undressing. From the corner of his eye, he caught his reflection and frowned.

_Do I __**really**__ look __**that**__ feminine? _ He asked himself, quite unhappy with his figure. By all means, it wasn't a **bad** figure or anything, it was just not the type of figure that a 16 year old **boy** would want. Pivoting his body, he started mentally pointing out all the feminine things about his body. So maybe he didn't have the most self confidence in the world, but whatever, he was happy, so it didn't matter. But, he was really really skinny. _I eat like a gluttenous pig, and yet I still stay so skinny... I look like a premature, 12 year old girl...baaah, it's too early to be thinking about my stupid figure, shower time!_

With that, he hopped ( ever so carefully ) into the shower, sighing as the hot water ran over his body. And saying hot, wasn't like, kind of hot, but more of an oh-my-god-my-skin-is-burning-off kind of hot. No matter how hot it was, though, it never burned **or**bothered the blonde, but that was only for showers. If he were to say, spill boiled water on himself, he would cry, or burn his tongue on hot coffee, he would also cry, but hot showers, not so much.

After a nice 5 minutes of scolding hot shower time, Naruto turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel on the way. Feeling much more awake then previously, he dried himself off and redressed.

The school uniform was nice. It was a simple loose white blouse with loose black pants. Ok, so maybe the shirt was a bit too loose, but the pants actually fit the poor midget blonde. He folded the shirt's ends to make it look tucked in ( he never was one for tucking in his shirts, and could take any uniform infraction gracefully ) and pinned some of it back with a safety pin, making it a little tighter, and not as loose. Since the weather was nice out, he didn't bother grabbing his jacket as he dried his hair and ran out of his room, avoiding all flesh-eating monsters that lived on his floor.

Checking the time on his cell phone, he grabbed his bag and headed downstairs.

" 7.10am, alright..." He said to himself. " I'm making good time... uh, Obaa-chan?" Naruto paused. No answer. Odd. " Obaa-chan?!" He yelled a little louder. Confused, he entered the kitchen. Luckily, Tsunade had already packed him a small lunch and left some money for him. And attached to the lunch was... a note? The blonde read it outloud.

_" Naruto, I already packed you a lunch, as you can see, and some money for whatever else. I left early for my new job. Be good! If I hear anything about you getting in any trouble at school, I swear, I will feed you bit by bit to that thing you assume is living under your bed! I mean it! _

_Oh, as for my new job, I got a job as nurse at your school. Yes, your school. So I will __**know**__ if you do __**anything**__ bad! I'll be watching your every move every day for the whole year, boy, so watch your back._

_Have a good day and see you later. If you're bored, stop by the nurses office and chat, because chances are, I'll be bored off my ass too. _

_Bye- Tsunade."_

" Oh gods... she's nurse at the school?" He groaned to himself, she really **would** be watching his **every** move. He could just see it now, with her staring at him from around corners. " Ah! It's 7.15, I should get going,"

Grabbing his lunch and slipping on his shoes, making sure that the door was locked, he started to school. It's a shame he forgot all about his keys on his desk in his room, hey? ( wow... a lot of his and he in that sentence... )

" Ahhh, I hope I'm not late or anything!" Naruto muttered to himself. No matter how early he left, he was always late some way or another. Mentally, he swore, because ironically, at that time, he could of sworn Karma was laughing at him from above him and that was really starting to piss him off. _I haven't even __**done**__ anything yet! Be nice for once Karma!_

After a nice 5 minutes of jogging to school, Naruto stopped and slowed to a less energy consuming pace.

_Whew... I'm so glad that Obaa-chan made me learn the way to school over summer otherwise I'd be so screwed right about now..._ The blonde thought to himself, making a mental note to thank Tsunade for that later.

30 minutes later and he was just walking through the front entrance to Konoha Senior Public School, in other words K.S.P.S. How he had gotten into such a rich looking school was way beyond anything his mind could come up with, but hell, it was a damn nice school. The entrance to the school was extremely well kept, as the grass was short and the walkway was free of weeds. Definetally one of those rich people schools. Totally ignoring all the limos parked in the lot to the side of the school, he started up the entrance.

Once inside, Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. He walked up to the front desk, or towards it more like, stopping just as he got close enough to see the person typing away on the computers.

" Obaa-chan? I thought you were in the nurses office?" Naruto asked, as he saw Tsunade there with a very unimpressed look on her face.

" Oh, that didn't take you very long, did it?" She stated, ignoring his babbling about a half and hour and such. " I have paper work crap to do, and the computer up stairs wasn't working, so I had to come down to this one, and while I'm at it I get to check in all the new students. Here, check off your name," The woman handed him a clipboard and a pen, suggesting that he should find his name. He browsed the small list. Wow, so he was almost the only new kid here? Other then all the people in their junior year of course.

" Ok... check, there," He smiled, handing the board back to his guardian, who took it and put it beside her. " Uh, schedual?"

" Yeah yeah, here. Oh, and don't call me Obaa-chan ok? It's annoying and people will get weirded out,"

" Ha, don't want them knowing how old you really are, grandma?" He laughed, retrieving the piece of paper she had held out for him.

" Ah, shut up. Your classes are all on the third floor, so have fun, see you after school and whatever, oh, and I'm going to be home around 8 pm tonight alright,"

" Ok, thanks, see you then," The blonde smiled sweetly again, waving and heading upstairs. One flight of stairs, Two flights of stairs, and Three... out of Five flights of stairs total. This was a damn big school! Naruto scanned over his schedual and sighed. It wasn't that hard to memorize, since all the classes were on one floor, other then gym, of course, which was downstairs. Once he spotted his classroom, he smiled, well, it **was** the first one down the hall after all. Walking up to the door, he peeked around the corner.

" Oh, hello, you must be a new student, correct?" A voice asked from behind him, making him jump and drop his bag.

" Ah, ah haha," he laughed nervously, picking up his things and turning to the teacher ( he was assuming it was at least ). In front of him was a man looking at least to be about 24 years old, with brown hair held back in a high ponytail, brown eyes, and a defined scar across the bridge of his nose. " Sorry, I didn't know you were behind me. My name is Uzumaki Naruto."

" Uzumaki... Oh, yes, of course! I know who you are. You're Tsunade's kid right? She was saying something about her kid being enrolled into this school and that he was blonde. We don't really have that many blonde people, so I figured it must be you she was talking about," The teacher smiled.

" Yeah, that's me. First day and Obaa-chan's already talking about me!" Naruto laughed, making sure he had recovered all of his things off the floor.

" Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Iruka, you can just call me Iruka, or add the sensei if you so choose. Welcome to Konoha." Iruka smiled again, patting Naruto on the back, as he opened the door to the classroom. " Come on in, and pick somewhere to sit. Usually I have a seating arangement, but you can pick where ever you want to sit.

" Cool, thanks. Is that seat in the back by the window taken yet?"

" No, that one's open. "

" Great, I'll take that one then, thank you," Naruto grinned his trademark grin, as he walked back to the seat and hung his bag on the hook on the side of the desk. " So, you been teaching here long?" He asked, having once made sure he had everything together.

" About 3 years now," The brunette teacher answered as he wrote his name and a few rules onto the blackboard. " It's actually alot of fun,"

" Is it? I would think it would be hard since there's so many students here..."

" Yeah, but really, it's not so bad," Iruka smiled again, just as the bell went and students started filling into the classroom. Once everyone was seated, the teacher cleared his throat. " Good morning everyone, my name is Iruka,"

END CHAPTER 1

Hope you guys liked the remake, review and tell me which version you like most so far. Personally, I think I like this one more then the other ones, but be sure to tell me your opinion!

Thanks! Llama CHAN!


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